Friday 19 July 2013

Ask TON: I’m Pregnant For The Brother Of My First Child’s Father



I once dated his younger brother while we were studying abroad. I actually had a child for him which we both agreed to put up for adoption because we were at that time ill-equipped to take on the responsibility of caring for a child.

Along the line, we had to part ways when he met an ‘akata’ woman who could give him the kind of security he wanted to remain in United States.

I had to move on to another country; Canada: when I got the opportunity to.

I came back to the country to start a new life. During a friend’s birthday, I met this man who I got talking to. One thing led to another and we eventually started dating. Even though something about his surname sounded familiar but at 40, I considered myself lucky to attract such a man so didn’t bother to probe him or his family.

Being desperate, I immediately set about getting pregnant. Luckily, I was able to get pregnant six months after our meeting. I waited for five months before telling him about the pending baby to avoid him asking me to abort the child. I am blessed with a good physic so he didn’t know I was in the family way at all.

When I eventually told him, he protested my pregnancy insisting we never discussed it especially as he has a family. He said our relationship wasn’t meant to last forever but I ignored him and made my way to see his parents confident no sane person would ask me to terminate an almost six months pregnancy.

It was while I was there that his younger brother walked in. I didn’t know he was back from the United States let alone aware he is the younger brother of my unborn child’s father. His presence erased any hope of the family accepting me as the second wife of their eldest son.

They practically threw me out when they discovered I had a child for their younger son. They said it was abomination in their family for two brothers to sleep with the same woman let alone have children by her.

They said, they didn’t want curse upon their family hence told me to go and remove the child inside of me to avoid the repercussion of having children for two brothers. They also said, if I decide to keep the child, it would be my decision, not theirs since they will never have anything to do with me and my child for life.

This is why I need your help desperately. I don’t know what to do. If I give birth to this child, there is no guarantee that the father’s family will ever welcome the child. Though there is a clause in the adoption paper that we signed that when the child is 18, she will get to know who her biological parents are. How do I explain to the world that I bore my two children to two brothers?

On the other hand, I am getting advanced in age by the standards of a woman’s reproductive years. What assurances that I will ever get pregnant again? I am so confused as to the path to take in my situation.

Please help me as a part of me wants to keep this baby because I need it to ensure this man comes back into my life; a baby to bargain with in my latter years should in case no man comes for my hand in marriage again.

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